I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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