I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
