Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
