now i know why i became what i already was.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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