I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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