Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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