batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
