idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
