i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
