Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize