Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
