i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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