Nicole vs. Life
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
it's like heaven, but drunker
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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