i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
