I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
