Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
