he referred to my room as the tit cave...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
