there were more penises there than on chat roulette
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
