Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
