the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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