Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I looked at my own cervix.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
