Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize