Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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