I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
