and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize