Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I AM VODKA MAN
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
