What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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