well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
