I hate all girls vehemently.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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