I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
