Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize