Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
