is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
