he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
