the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
