their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
