just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize