I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
