1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
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