The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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