I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
