I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
