She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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