I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My balls are so social today.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
