So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
