Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
