You're my little dorito
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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