Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
