Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
