i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
