glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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