what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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