she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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