I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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