running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
