btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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