i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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