Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
