I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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