Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
